Sometimes I wanted to see a psychologist, but I was scared. I was afraid of being judged as having a mental illness/issue. Afterwards, I learned that there was nothing to be afraid of. If I need to take care of my skin, hair, appearance, and physical health, why shouldn't I take care of my mental health

I decided to meet a psychologist when I realized that I had thoughts (ideas) that were popping up in my head - it is unacceptably violent with my child who I loved the most, I had self-torment & judge myself why I have this thinking but I don't understand why this is so, I still love my children very much. I fear that one day it will not only be thinking, but even I will not be able to control my actions. I'm just trying to do something before things get out of control and it's too late..

I used to take antidepressants for a year and I realized that it only temporarily suppressed the clinical symptoms, but my problem was always there - when I stopped taking it, everything went back, even worse, my concentration and memory were severely impaired. Probably the wrong method, I gradually realized what the exact problem was and tried to untangle it from the root